so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
