Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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