...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
