Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Randomize
