ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize