My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
