Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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