Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
