I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
