I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
