piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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