My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i black out too much to be "responsible"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize