exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
