...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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