Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
