They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
