one two three fourrrrnication!
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
