He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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