You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize