don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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