I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
