if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
