So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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