I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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