Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
