8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
