coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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