question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
