i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I want to fling myself into the sun
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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