Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
