I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
