Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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