I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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