Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
