I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I intend to get homeless drunk
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
