those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
