the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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