Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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