At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
