We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
