I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
