Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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