I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
