just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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