As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
