Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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