he shaved USA in his pubs
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
