it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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