Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
