So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
