Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
