Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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