The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
