can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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