Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize