i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
