Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
