i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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