operation have a gay friend backfired
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
