he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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