Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
