I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
