dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
