Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
