Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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