We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
