the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have fence marks all over my body
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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