he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize