During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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