He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize