if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
