Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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