It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize