What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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