so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
